balancing as i go

Friday, November 3

It ends here.

No, I'm not going to end my life, hahha.

Yaroq's shifting to www.yaroq.wordpress.com

uhmed at 23:00

Thursday, November 2

Rub more salt on me.
Smart of you eh?
How much more do you want me to feel stupid?

uhmed at 23:27

I'm freak-a-ed.
Exams done, some results are back.
And all I say is, "What?"
And all I do is look at it in dismay and put it aside.
And now I say, "This part of life's circle is so repeativive. But I never learn. No, it can't be because I never learn. I know fully well of it, but each time my background is painted differently. Yeah, blame it on that."

uhmed at 14:10

Wednesday, November 1

What may be unseen, remains unseen.
The seen, shall be taken advantage upon.
Therefore, search for the unseen.

Writing, a passion?
Write, even though no one leaves comments.
(Something I've learnt from PhYW, contained in the welcome note/brief history.)
And so it goes the same to everything else benefical.

Form of perserverance?

Thoughts in, thoughts out.
What matters most is how well you know yourself to last.

Eh. Um.
I will not be going to church this Sunday.
Which does not mean it is not one of my better off priorites.
I mean, if it really is so, people would think then that I should be going then.
(I don't care what they say about me.. it's alright, it's alright. Hah, kidding.)
Well, I could go to like another service.
After all, going to church with a true purpose preveils.
Meaning that, even if you do go to church, but for wrong purposes, then it would be like not going at all.

Anyway.
People stumbling because of me, may be caused by the lack of knowledge about me.
Therefore, it is something very very very hard.

uhmed at 00:52

Tuesday, October 24

Why can't I just sit down and concentrate?
Bible Knowledge exam's on Wednesday!

Oh anyway, I was viewing a few of my friends profile on Friendster and some wrote something like this:
Hates: Back stabbers, liars, blablabla
Who would ever like back stabbers and liars??
Hahha it's really funny.
Thing is, if they hate liars, they are actually controlled by one.
Why?
Because know not they, hear not they the Living Word or rejected it they have.
(Yoda's really is a cute one)

Hmmm.. random stuff lately:

Let me just say that I'm the founder Pulau Telur, since last Friday.

Mentos Limited Edition: Sour Mix!
It's so far the best ever Mentos.

Dead rat in school along the cover wakway

Inai!

Went out with Catherine on Friday to find senior prefect's souviners, and jalan-jalan on the way.

Haze is here in Kluang!
Gahhhh.

Imagine... "Life with a Flower"
Something we saw in YC.

Looked at clothes..

Looks like bottles for urine samples..

Grandmothers are smarter than grandfathers?
In this case, maybe, since his brain has been extracted.

Wants to do this in future..

Saw fake policeman.

Saw real ones too...

Acted.

Acted again, but went home regretting not throwing it away.

Wedding on Saturday:

At last I got to see them playing, after all those discussions during BK

Wooo....

Jeanette's hand desperate for a second chance
(yellow ribbons).

It looks like church's kinda glorious?

Now you know where the plate
landed before it got missing.
(the one that was announced missing in church)

Jeanette's flowery skirt and flowery flowers!

Program sheet.

Later in YF:

Cluedo freaks? hahha

Chess..
I've realised over the pass years,
I have never won any intellectual games.
Makes me feel really stupid man.

uhmed at 04:10

Monday, October 16

Shame on me!
English was really really terrible.
Hey, did you know that Albert Einstein and Bill Gates did not finish school?
ARGHHHH!!

uhmed at 13:50

Thursday, October 12

9 October 2006
Loud Worship?!

I've read many articles in the net, and I've seen many are against the way we praise our God. They say the music are more.. erm.. loud, and when we sing the "loud" songs, we only focus towards the music, not God. At first I'm so disappointed on the way they think, but, I think I found out that I'm actually proving them right.

I found myself doing the same mistakes all the time. Everytime during worship in yf, when we sing praise (fast) songs, I found myself jumping just to release every tension and stress. Yes, we are suppose release everything, but we are suppose to release everything through God, not through music only. One of the reason I started counting "1,2,3,4!" (known as the 4 counts) in yf is because I want to encourage those who are afraid to move, to jump so that next time they can worship God without fear. But I think this "4 counts" is turning into a tradition for me.

I think we should do what Jit says (maybe all of you already started): during worship, we should imagine Jesus dying on the cross infront of us. That's when real worship will take place, because Jesus will be in our minds when we worship, not just music.

And to those who are against "loud" songs: Psa 150:5- 'Praise him with cymbals. Praise him with LOUD cymbals'

Everything I said is from my own opinion, so, i dunno whether what I right or wrong (I think there's no right and wrong). So, if I offended somebody, sorry...

posted by koocheekoo @ 3:54 PM

My thoughts on this (a more precise version than the one on Gideon's): hmm. Actually, during the pass few weeks or so I have been wondering during worship (actually praising: loud songs? but we praise too during slow songs?) whether people really mean what they sing. Maybe what Aunty Yoke Mei told us was kinda true, if we can't mean what we sing, then don't sing out those words. But the thing is, when we sing out those words, then it be like us telling God, in hope, that we will do it. And something else will come to mind, what if we didn't do that something we always "hope" we can acheive each time we sing it? But, we will be accountable for the promiss we make?

EXAMPLE: The song All Day's pre-chorus goes, "Cause I love You, I'll follow You, You are my, my life.. I will read my Bible and pray, I will follow You all day...". What if I had not done my quiet time for every Thursday and Friday that week, then go to YF and there I am, jumping. I promise to God, but when the next week comes, the same thing happens, and I feel double the guilt. The following week, I'm maybe a lil' smarter. The song goes on and I don't jump. But people ask me too. I mean, I know the worship leader's intention is to take away shyness within or some sort, but.. would I be making empty promises again? What's the purpose of jumping/dancing anyway? I think it's the same as why we lift up our hands? A form of worship/praise. How we express ourselves.

I don't know if you who are reading can understand this, but I am truly confused and do not know how to put my thoughts down. Yeap.

uhmed at 15:20

Wednesday, October 11

Buah berangan masaknya merah,
Kelekati dalam perahu,
Luka di tangan nampak berdarah,

Luka di hati siapa tahu.

uhmed at 23:10

Tuesday, October 10

and all you hear are sounds of the clock ticking
in the dining, in the sitting room
silence, being alone
at home, doing the supposed

calmness within brings out much comfort
no pressure,
but everything's prim and proper when orang besar steps home

i've had two years of it,
first two years of secondary school
and i'm enjoying it this week,
once
again.

Dad's away in ibu negeri for PMR marking meeting,
so that makes me home alone till Mum's done with her work.

Some stuff I wondered while studying Science:
If the sky were to be seen blue to humans on earth because of the scattering of light, what really is the original colour of the sky? (In space, the sky in black to humans. According to my reference book.)

uhmed at 17:40

Saturday, September 30

My RC (Reka Cipta) teacher approached me and my two other friends and asked us to help her out with our school website. Yayyie. That would be after exams of course. I think I'll enjoy doing it. Discovering a lot of things. Learning how to use different programes. Wahhh... *drools*

Anyway, I was sick, unable to do anything (pratically) for a week. And hey, that leaves me to one week of studying before exams starts. Hahh. Now "That's why lah, study last minute." Cannot tahan this phrase. Maybe. It just makes me feel more guilty and unmotivated.

Well, being prefect leader for four days was nice. And... seniors played on us!!! Sigh. Crazy people. Yet, creative. Haha. Some more kenakan me... Oh. Well. I've learnt a lot.. thanks to all seniors.. although you all feel dissapointed with our actions. Khoo Hui Ying.. best acting award goes to you! In short of what happened, Hui Ying acted as the one who lost RM900+ (she's the prefect board's treasurer and that money was from the prefect's board).

After recess, it was reported to the prefect leaders, me and two others. So we did spot check on her class, etc etc thinking that it was for real.. but it was actually the seniors testing us how we would react. But we failed.. and dissapointed them (as said). They told us only during the prefect's meeting, that it was a test, after we told all the prefects what happened that whole week. Well, it turned out that that was not the only test... haha.

Fun loh. Um. Yeah.

uhmed at 20:05